Being Ridiculous
by Ivy Kendall
Summary: Sharon is confused about how to proceed with Andy. Advise comes from an unlikely source. (A gift for sira01, in the 3rd Annual LJ Gift exchange, Xmas 2014.)


Sharon shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable. Her phone buzzed so she looked down to read the text. She could either swipe the message and show him she'd read his invitation to dinner, or she could pretend she'd seen nothing. He wouldn't bring it up again. He would be hurt, Sharon knew, but he would still be there as her loyal Lieutenant.

Somehow that didn't seem enough, but what was enough? She sighed heavily, and shifted again.

"Oh, for god's sake, Captain, stop squirming," Provenza snapped at her. They were sitting just down the street from their suspect's house, waiting for back-up to arrive. So far no one had noticed them, and no one had left the building.

She sighed again, and put her phone back in her pocket.

"I'm not going to ask," he said, still facing the house, jaw set as it always was when he was making a point.

"I think you could teach me a few things," she finally broke the silence.

Provenza snorted, "I think I could teach you a lot. What are we talking about, exactly?"

"I though you weren't going to ask."

"Don't get cheeky, I just figured you wanted my advise on the case. That's all."

Sharon smiled. Not much got past the man beside her. She imagined he knew exactly what was bothering her and was waiting for her to start. Who knows, she thought to herself. Perhaps he would have a perspective she could use. She knew he'd made his feelings on her friendship with Andy well known, but he'd never said a thing to her. Deciding to take the plunge, she broke the silence once more, "You seem quite comfortable with Patrice."

"Don't read too much into it."

"No, I'm serious. You have more failed relationships then anyone I know, and yet you still keep trying."

"Thanks... I'm feeling so special."

Sharon tried unsuccessfully to stifle a snicker, she had long ago accepted her pleasure at riling him. However needling him was not her aim. "Really, Lieutenant, I'm not being facetious. You've had some difficulties over the years, and yet a woman comes along who turns your head, and before the day is through, you're taking her to dinner. And on top of that, you took her to dinner while her granddaughter was being arrested for a murder you helped solve. How did you do that?"

"Talent. Pure talent," Provenza said smugly.

Sharon lowered her head, silenced by his dismissal, and he must have noticed, because his tone and demeanor changed. "What are you really asking?" he started gently.

Hesitantly, she looked at him again, "Full disclosure, nothing gets outside of this car?"

"Absolutely, and no games. Straight up honesty."

"Deal."

"Always a deal," he muttered.

"Am I being ridiculous?"

"Captain... you shouldn't give me an opening like that."

She smiled grimly at his response, "Perhaps not, but am I? You and everyone else has been commenting on my friendship with Andy. Are we the last to see it?"

"You are, yes. But it took him far too long. I tried to head it off, but he wouldn't listen."

"Because we're wrong for each other?"

"No... because you could be so perfect for each other that the rest of us will cease to exist." Although his voice became gruff, he said it with conviction. Straight talk deserved no less.

Slightly horrified, Sharon looked down at her hands. "You think I'll be that unprofessional?"

"No... I think the two of you have gone without happiness for so long, that finally having some will be all consuming."

"And that's a reason not to, I guess," she sighed again.

"Geez, Captain, are you always this negative? I don't know two people who have suffered alone longer than you and Flynn. Don't you think it's time you both stopped? Everyone around you seems to think so."

"Even you?"

"Even me. Look, you started this, you agreed to honesty, so here it is. Nothing scares you except your feelings. You have ice queen down to a fine art. You make the mayor and all the chiefs quake in their boots, and you love it, don't tell me differently. But, you gave your heart away once, and it was passed back to you broken... shattered probably, with pieces missing. You are terrified that it will happen again and that this time you won't be able to put it back together. Flynn is the same, only he's got an elephant's weight of guilt to go along with it. He's willing to risk a relationship, so long as it doesn't have any depth to it. With you, it's all depth. We've been taking bets, you know. The entire team is waiting for it to happen."

"Oh dear..."

"Don't 'oh dear' me, if Flynn had backed off when I told him to, none of this would have happened. But he didn't listen, he was drawn to you like a moth to a flame."

"You think I'm that bad for him?"

"Fine, fine, wrong metaphor. Like magnets, okay? Magnets that pull together no matter how hard you try to resist. It's now a problem in our division no matter what. Either you two act on it, and it's out in the open, or you don't and the rest of us have to live with the tension. One way or another, we all have to deal."

"I didn't realize it was causing so many problems," she replied, fidgeting with the cuff of her jacket.

"Captain, again you aren't getting the point. It doesn't have to cause problems for anyone. It's out in the open now, and since you are the last to realize it, you are the one who can make this either difficult or a cake walk. Look... Flynn's one of the good guys, just don't ever tell him I said that. And you're... you've deserved a lot better than you've had. You know why Patrice and I can make this happen? Because she was an ER nurse, she's seen a lot of the same stuff I've seen. She's been disappointed in dreams not becoming reality, and moving on. My god, she's just watched her only granddaughter put in a criminally insane ward of a longterm facility, and she still manages to smile every day. The problem with you and Flynn is you've forgotten the bad stuff isn't life, it's not the core of what we do. The bad stuff just happens as we're heading towards the next bit of good stuff. To hear Patrice talk about it, knowing me is her gift for all the pain that came with her granddaughter. Now, we both know, it takes a special kind of person to see life that way. I don't see the silver lining, but I've got her to point it out. Who sees the silver lining between you and Flynn?"

Sharon pursed her lips, taking in his words. "Mmm... good point. This is really okay, I mean... if I just trust this and see what happens, it will really be okay?"

"Okay? Of course not. Nothing about this is okay. The entire team is going to be watching for the cracks and waiting for Flynn to screw up again. But who gives a damn if it's okay? Any one of you could tell Patrice she's getting a lousy deal by spending time with me, but I don't care. She gives me something to look forward to after the end of a long day, and that's worth it. You and Flynn don't have to set the world on fire, you can just be friends... with benefits." He smirked slightly at his own joke, "Just don't share it with the rest of us."

For the first time her smile relaxed. "So, I guess the answer to my question is yes, I am being foolish."

"You think too much."

"It's the only way I can control it."

"You're not meant to control it, you're meant to enjoy it. God... have you forgotten everything about being a teenager in love?"

"Love?" her eyebrow perked up.

"Love... like..." he shrugged, "whatever you want to call it. Just, don't manage it. That takes all the fun out of it."

Humming, Sharon pulled the phone from her pocket and slid her finger across the screen.

_Dinner sounds wonderful._

_After we get this solved? You think we'll be done by then?_

_Backup just arrived. We'll know soon._

_Looking forward to it. Nice way to end the day._

Sharon smiled thoughtfully, then gave her last reply.

_It's a very nice way to end the day._


End file.
